Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Shaq: The Big Tamperer

[Also on The Painted Area today: Suns-Spurs Game 4 Analysis]


The TNT Overtime section of the NBA.com video product is really a beautiful thing, what with complete episodes of Inside The NBA, halftime segments, and special extras from the good folks at TNT.

Monday night at the TNT Arena was noteworthy, of course, because of the large presence of Mr. Shaquille O'Neal. While the Big Arisotle/Baryshnikov/Deporter brought entertainment value to the broadcast, I thought that the most notable thing Shaq said all night was actually buried in an online-only "TNT Courtside" segment, in which Ernie, Kenny and Chuck asked him questions for about five minutes.

About a third of the way into that clip, Kenny talked about how Shaq's played with three great sidekicks in Penny, Kobe, and D-Wade, and asked Shaq who he would pick out of all other NBA players if he could choose another sidekick.

Shaq answered by saying, "Vince". As in Vince Carter. As in under contract with the Nets, soon to be able to opt out of said contract if he so desires Vince Carter.

Charles cut to the heart of the matter, as always, pointing out, "You know that's called tampering, don't you?"

Shaq, feigning ignorance of the whole thing, responded: "He asked me a question. I'm just answering the question. I don't know what you talkin' 'bout. [laughter] I don't know what you talkin' 'bout. [more laughter]"

Charles followed up by saying Shaq was offering "a subliminal message." Kenny said, "Not when you have D-Wade. You can't have D-Wade and Vince Carter."

Shaq: "Why not?"

Shaq went on to note that he spends his early vacation playing "Dogman" with his kids (he took a bite out of Ernie's arm to demonstrate) and then grossed everyone out with a story about the one and only time he's changed a diaper, and I'll just leave it at that.


At 8:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shaq: The Big Lazy Ass Thief. If it wasn't for Kobe or D-Wade this play for 5 seasons for the price of 6 lazy ass walking minstrel show wouldn't have one ring to show for his underachieving career.

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He looked like an idiot on that show. He didn't have anything to say about anything and sounded like his usual moronic self. Uh duh uh duh Big Arisdumbass. The only reason he wants Vince is so that he can do less work. At least Riles had the balls to call a spade a spade.

At 8:38 PM, Anonymous Frank Jumbo said...

I agree with the last comment. Shaq didn't do much except make childlike sound effects for made jumpers doing the highlight reel. No in-depth basketball analysis at all. It's impossible that Shaq could play almost 15 seasons in the NBA and not recognize much about plays and tendencies of different team strategies. But Shaq was in full superstar mode and reluctant to do so. Very immature and disappointing.

At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

GOtta go for the color stuff huh , your mom should have been spaded wise guy

At 4:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Color stuff? I was referring to his intellect (or lack thereof) For reference here is a quote regarding the origins of the phrase "spade a spade" "My bad" for reading a book on occasion. How about you read Frantz Fanon and then we can discuss how part of the psychology of colonialism renders some hypersensitive.

"Nicolas Udall, in his Apophthegmes, that is to saie, prompte saiynges. First gathered by Erasmus - translated 1542, has:

"Philippus aunswered, that the Macedonians wer feloes of no fyne witte in their termes but altogether grosse, clubbyshe, and rusticall, as they whiche had not the witte to calle a spade by any other name then a spade."

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