Monday, November 24, 2008

Shaq: The Big Twitterer

I hadn't signed up for Twitter up until a couple days ago, as I'd found that updating my Facebook status served a similar purpose sufficiently for my needs.

So, what pulled me in? Well, I couldn't resist after reading Howard Beck's story in the New York Times about how Shaquille O'Neal has quickly become a prolific Twitterer in the last week, after discovering that there was an impostor registered as "ShaquilleONeal" sending out "tweets" employing language sufficiently "Shaqalicious" to serve as a reasonably passable impersonation of the Big Aristotle.

Now THE_REAL_SHAQ, as he is calling himself ("BIO: VERY QUOTATIOUS"), is tweeting like a madman, about 20 times a day in the last week.

Shaq's tweets can be followed at Here's a sampling:
    On my way to oklahoma city, gettin ready to send 2 million lbs of peanut butta to africa about 11 hours ago from txt

    Watchn true blood, thats were i was born and raised, dat vampire town, shaqula has been discovered aaaaggggh 7:41 PM Nov 23rd from txt

    @davidadewami kobe is a beast dude, the best player n da game, i admit , i miss playin wit him 6:27 PM Nov 23rd from txt

    Last nite i told greg oden , "we r not the same, i am a martian" 12:09 PM Nov 23rd from txt

    Ok i couldnt take it, i had to get a double cheeseburger from whataburger, pls 4give me lol 12:09 PM Nov 23rd from txt

    I get my neck cracked b4 everygame, today i felt a xtra clikadee clak 8:58 PM Nov 22nd from txt

    Did mrs clinton really take da job 10:44 PM Nov 21st from txt

    I'm watchn my 8 yr old son play, i'm jealous hes a better free throw shoota 6:21 PM Nov 21st from txt

    I JUST MET KIMBO SLICE, DATS A MEAN DUDE 2:46 PM Nov 21st from web

    Multimedia message on TwitPic - Multimedia message 2:15 PM Nov 21st from TwitPic

    Why does shane battier always were that golf masters jacket on the bench, lol 6:33 PM Nov 19th from txt

    At the barber shop, gotta b sexy for the game tomorro. Us supermodels always have to stay fine, lol 1:12 PM Nov 19th from txt

    So u wear a cape and win a dunk contest and they call u superman So what do u call a guy wit 4 rings , i know THE REAL SUPERMAN Aka SHAQ 8:01 PM Nov 18th from txt
    [I enjoy this one b/c I was watching NBA TV when Shaq texted this to GP after the Glove called Dwight Howard 'Superman' - C-Webb read it on the air.]

    Rest in peace Mr PETE NEWELL You will be missed, especially from all the big man that attended your camp. Love you sir 2:27 AM Nov 18th from txt
The Fake Shaq is still going as well - you can find him at if you want to check out his impersonation skills.


I guess it's an especially Shaqalicious day at The Painted Area today. TrueHoop had a post today referencing Paul Coro's note that Shaq is now stretching for the first time in his career, as he's taking yoga classes.

I don't know why, but it reminded me of one of my favorite Shaq stories, when Mike Wise, then of the NY Times, followed Shaq as he motorcycled around L.A. back in 2000, recording the reactions of people who encountered him, as well as a trip to his acupuncturist for a blood-letting treatment:
    O'Neal, who has an inflammation in his right hip, ducks under a 6-10 doorway and into a cramped room. He removes his shirt, his massive frame spilling over the treatment table. He plants his face firmly in the headrest as Hsu goes to work, rubbing small plastic suction cups along O'Neal's oiled back.

    Cupping and scraping are part of the Chinese folk medicine tradition. Among other results, the process is said to purify the blood and increase blood-cell production. The surface of the skin is strongly sucked by the vacuum pressure in the cup, opening capillary vessels and pores. It allows toxins to be excreted. It also hurts.

    "Like a tattoo," O'Neal said. "Not that bad."

    He added: "Certain days last season, I couldn't move my leg. Shen would fix me up."

    O'Neal's lower body was in such pain from an abdominal strain, he said: "Without Shen, I couldn't have played last year. I'm serious."

    The most painful process is yet to come. Hsu gently lances a small, circular area on the right side of O'Neal's lower back, near the top of his buttock. Placing the cup over the area, he holds it there for several seconds until O'Neal's bright, red blood rises to the surface. The process is continued for several minutes.

    Whether it's ingesting ginseng or eating healthful foods, O'Neal is taking care of his body like never before. He lives with only a personal chef, who prepares chicken, fish and vegetables. "I'll eat steak now and then, but I'm not a big red meat eater," he said. "My partying days are over. I've gotten serious about taking care of my body. See, I don't get tired. I get beat up. You keep chopping on a tree, you need to give the tree some rest so the chlorophyll will fill back up and the tree gets its energy back."
One last Shaq for the day for no particular reason. A hat tip to Yahoo! for the inspired photo selection to accompany the choice of Thursday's Lakers-Suns matchup as the "Game To Pay Attention To", which features A.C. Green inexplicably waving an Abstinence Committed Bear at Shaq, who appears to be having none of it, even though it's a great gift for the holiday season!


At 9:05 AM, Blogger CASABLANCAS said...

shaq is the best. is ac still celibate?

At 9:41 AM, Blogger M. Haubs said...

A.C. is now married, so I'm assuming the answer is no.

SI caught up with him this summer:

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